Guide Description:

In this guide, we will embark on a journey toward discovering and cultivating personal happiness by exploring the factors that contribute to a fulfilling life. The guide covers essential topics such as self-awareness, emotional resilience, and the importance of meaningful relationships.

Through a combination of reflective questions we will gain the tools needed to identify our values, set realistic goals, and develop habits that promote personal well-being. It will encourage critical thinking, self-analysis and empower us to challenge limiting beliefs.

Learning Objective:

By the end of the guide, learners will have a personalized roadmap to self-care, with strategies to maintain a positive mindset amidst daily challenges. We will examine:

a. The components of happiness

b. How happiness impacts your mind and body

c. Skills and tactics to find and maintain happiness

“Happiness is the meaning and purpose of life, the whole aim and the end of human existence” – Aristotle

Reflection Point: Before we dive into the course, take some time to honestly answer a few questions –

What is your personal definition of happiness?
What activities or moments bring you the most joy?
Do you believe success leads to happiness, or does happiness within oneself lead to achieving success?
What is the cost of your happiness, to you and others?
Are there specific relationships that positively or negatively influence your sense of happiness?
Are there times in your life where you’ve experienced happiness though things didn’t go as expected?

With that in mind, think of a time you were truly happy, was it sustained or transient, personal or a shared experience?

**What is Happiness?**

Encyclopaedia *Britannica* defines Happiness as a state of emotional well-being that a person experiences either in a narrow sense (when good things happen in a specific moment), or more broadly as a positive evaluation of one’s life and accomplishments (subjective well-being).
It can be distinguished both from negative emotions (such as sadness, fear, and anger) and from other positive emotions (such as affection, excitement, and interest).
It often co-occurs with a specific facial expression; the smile.

Components of Happiness:

There are two key components of happiness -

1- The balance of emotions: Everyone experiences both positive and negative emotions, feelings, and moods. Happiness is generally linked to a more enduring awareness of positive feelings than negative ones.

The decisions we make when happy and in a pleasant state of mind can be significantly different from when we are sad, angry, anxious, depressed or any number of other negative emotions. When happy, we are more likely to make decisions that positively impacts others, better able to appreciate the little things in life and have a more generous outlook to the world.

Though we all have different temperaments, developing control over our emotions gives us strength or control over situations that would otherwise overwhelm us or make us feel helpless and anxious. Even when we think it is dependent on others, we can consider the things we can control in that situation to help us maintain control of how much we let it affect us. It is hard to be truly happy when you find yourself constantly angry or anxious, a way forward could be exploring the root cause of these negative emotions and finding long term solutions, independent of the external factor, and learning how to deal with them.

2 - Life satisfaction: This relates to how satisfied you feel with different areas of your life including your relationships, work, achievements, and other things that you consider important.

Have you ever found yourself in a state of so much angst it felt like you were about to explode! The rising blood pressure, the redness of the eyes, a throbbing vein and the thoughts that run through the mind – seeking ways to ‘get back’ at the source of anger?

Whether directed at an individual or institution, many vengeful acts, big and small, stems from circumstances or the feeling, that we’ve been robbed of what is duly ours, and whatever robs us of our life satisfaction is seen as a threat to our happiness.

A major part of what we do, is in a desperate pursuit of happiness, and as humans, we all have vastly different ideas of what we perceive brings us happiness. For some it’s age-old money, others – a successful career, and others yet, having a family, or the opportunity to give back and help the less privileged. Sometimes, we get so caught up in our desire to find happiness that (whether right or wrong), we are willing to do anything for it.

The feeling that everything is going well, even in the face of imperfections, elicits a sense of satisfaction and contentment that bring peace to the heart.

How Happiness Impacts Your Mind and Body

Happiness has a profound effect on our mental and physical well-being. Lack of happiness does not only impact our mental health negatively, it also impacts our physical well-being.

“We know that up to 80% of visits to primary care doctors are due to conditions that are caused or exacerbated by unmanaged stress,” said psychiatrist Dr. Francoise Adan, director of the Connor Integrative Health Network of University Hospitals in Cleveland. “Being happy doesn’t just make us feel better, it improves our health. It helps us eat healthier, be more active and sleep better.”

Because happiness leads to healthier behaviors, it helps stave off high blood pressure and excess body fat, resulting in lower risk of stroke and cardiovascular disease, she said.

When we feel a sense of satisfaction and contentment, we have a more positive outlook to life and are better able to make healthier life choices. Sometimes happiness is about perspective.

Reflection Point

Does the formal definition of happiness align with yours?
Are you temperamental or do you have good control over your emotions?
What is your level of contentment with your current life situation?
Do you view challenges as opportunities for growth or do you tend to feel defeated?
Are there areas in your life where you can make adjustments to enhance your happiness?
What coping mechanisms helps you find peace during tough times?

Skills and Tactics to Finding Happiness

The pursuit of happiness is a never-ending task, because we inevitably have to deal with stressors as we go about our daily lives– job loss, loss of a loved one, financial disappointment, failed relationships etc. while we may not be able to control those stressors, we are able to control our reactions and response to them and how much they affect us.

Understanding that there are things outside our purview helps us better prepare for the unexpected and we can have a reasoned approach for when things don’t go the way we expect or planned.

Living in regret of decisions we have made, can lead to despair and emotional stagnation. There’s no use crying over spilled milk! Understanding we can’t change the past, but instead finding ways to repair what we got wrong in the first place, stops us from making the problem even bigger than it needs to be.

While there may be no foolproof solution to finding happiness, being honest with oneself is a great way to identify actions we carry out that we think will bring us happiness, but end up with the opposite effect. Apportioning blame to external entities may make us feel better temporarily, or even get us out of trouble, but it stops us from carrying out the self-reflection needed to truly evaluate our actions, take responsibility and make positive change.

Meditation has also been found to be a valuable tool in calming from within that provides us with clarity to move forward. Being able to find ourselves – our strengths and weaknesses and accepting them, can help us find alternate ways to overcome those weaknesses and show our strength.

Ultimately, understanding the limitations of others and how that can impact our happiness, accepting what we can and cannot control and planning ahead, reduces the sense of disappointment we feel when things don’t go as planned. This helps us maintain a balance of emotions.

Think of a time you experienced disappointment, what was your reaction? Do you believe you handled it satisfactorily? What would you do differently/same? While we cannot prepare for every scenario, learning to be proactive rather than reactive trains our brains to calmly analyze situations before us, so that even if it temporarily takes away our happiness, we have the resources to find our way back to it.

Reflection Point: Let us reflect on a few more questions at this time to see how far we’ve come. Take your time to think through or talk through them –

· Do you tend to avoid issues because they seem too hard?

o What was your previous approach

o What will be your approach moving forward? (It’s okay if it works and stays the same)

· Would it be better to face it no matter how long it takes for a lasting solution and thus obtain a greater chance at sustained happiness?

o Short term or long term, what’s worth it?

· Do you often plan ahead on key aspects of your life?

o What is your reaction if things don’t go as planned?

· What percentage of your happiness do you think is dependent on the actions of others?

o How much influence should you allow the actions of others impact your emotions?

o Moving forward what will you do to take back control?

Do you often strive to bring and share happiness to those around you, if not why? Think of little gestures and actions you can carry out daily that would bring the expression of happiness to someone’s face – a smile.

Total and continuous happiness is an ideal to work towards but rarely attained, even in the best of times there can be a nagging feeling that something is about to happen that will take our happiness away, or feeling undeserving of the things we have, encourages a cautious approach to life. Understanding that the unknown is a part of life, learning to take things in stride helps to manage negative emotions when they try to overwhelm us.

A sense of community or support is a strong factor in our search for happiness, because knowing we are not alone in our struggle provides a sense of comfort and maybe even a benchmark, from which to gain direction.

Happiness is well worth fighting for, but we must also exercise caution in what we are willing to do to achieve it. Momentary pleasures can lead to long time unhappiness which is the opposite of what we seek.

Next Steps

Finding personal happiness is a journey that requires introspection, intention and action. Here are practical steps to guide you toward a more fulfilled and joyful life:

1. Self-Reflection

Identify Values: Take time to understand what is truly important to you. Write down your core values, such as family, career, health, or creativity.
Assess Current Happiness: Reflect on different areas of your life (relationships, work, leisure). Consider what brings you joy and what feels burdensome.

2. Set Clear Goals

Short-Term and Long-Term Goals: Specify what you want to achieve in various aspects of your life. For example, aim to engage in new hobbies, strengthen relationships, or advance your career.
SMART Goals: Make your goals Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound.

3. Cultivate Gratitude

Daily Gratitude Practice: Keep a journal where you note things you are thankful for each day. This practice can shift your focus from what's lacking to what you cherish.
Acknowledge Achievements: Recognize and celebrate your accomplishments, both big and small. This will foster a sense of self-worth and positivity.

4. Connect with Others

Build a Support Network: Surround yourself with positive, supportive individuals who uplift you. Engage in meaningful conversations with friends and family.
Seek Community Engagement: Join groups or activities in your area that align with your interests. This fosters a sense of belonging and purpose.

5. Prioritize Self-Care

Physical Health: Engage in regular exercise, maintain a balanced diet, and ensure adequate sleep. Physical well-being is crucial for emotional health.
Mental Well-Being: Practice mindfulness or meditation. These techniques can help reduce stress and enhance overall mental clarity.

6. Embrace Change

Be Open to New Experiences: Step out of your comfort zone by trying new things. This can lead to personal growth and unexpected joy.
Adaptability: Understand that change is a natural part of life. Learning to navigate changes with resilience can lead to greater satisfaction.

7. Limit Negative Influences

Digital Detox: Reduce time spent on social media or consuming negative news. Focus on sources that inspire and educate you.
Boundaries: Learn to say no to situations or people that drain your energy or negatively impact your happiness.

8. Continuous Learning

Pursue Personal Development: Engage in courses, workshops, or books that stimulate your mind and encourage growth.
Seek Feedback: Constructive criticism can provide valuable insights into areas for improvement.

9. Practice Forgiveness

Let Go of Resentment: Holding onto grudges can weigh heavily on your happiness. Practice forgiving others and yourself to free up emotional space.
Reflect on Lessons: Rather than dwelling on past mistakes, consider what you have learned from them and how they have shaped your growth.

10. Review and Adjust

Regular Check-Ins: Set aside time periodically to reflect on your progress toward your happiness goals. Identify what is working and what needs adjustment.
Stay Flexible: Your definition of happiness may evolve over time. Remain open to changing your approach as you grow.

By implementing these steps, you can create a personalized pathway toward lasting happiness. Remember that this is an ongoing process, and allowing yourself grace in this journey is essential.

Further Reading:

Master Your Emotions: A Practical Guide to Overcome Negativity and Better Manage Your Feelings by Thibaut Muerisse

The Happiness Hypothesis: Finding Modern Truth in Ancient Wisdom by Jonathan Haidt

A Little SPOT of Happiness by Diane Alber

Growing Up with A Bucket Full of Happiness by Carol McCloud

Citation:

Britannica, T. Editors of Encyclopaedia (2023). happiness. Encyclopedia Britannica. https://www.britannica.com/topic/happiness

What Is Happiness? Defining Happiness, and How to Become Happier by Kendra Cherry November 07, 2022 https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-happiness-4869755

When Physicians Counsel About Stress: Results of a National Study

Aditi Nerurkar, MD, MPH; Asaf Bitton, MD, MPH; Roger B. Davis, ScD; et al

https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamainternalmedicine/fullarticle/1392494

FINDING PERSONAL HAPPINESS